Monday, 15 February 2016

What's your Birmingham?


Twice on Friday I accompanied a group of students from St Chad's Sanctuary to Birmingham Museum where we visited the local history galleries. The trip was inspired by some questions about Birmingham's history which I couldn't answer, and I decided rather than resorting to Wikipedia and creating a comprehension sheet we'd head out to the museum instead ... it was the right decision.

Being a primary school teacher by training, no school trip I organise was ever going to happen without a quiz to fill in on the way round! But I don't think they were just humouring me when the students engaged with it and explored the history of this city they now tentatively call home. All in all it was an amazing day: plenty of opportunities for English practice and new vocabulary, a chance to discuss and explore together, a chance to share experiences and learn from one another.

From its earliest days as a country market gradually attracting crafts people and farmers from surrounding areas, through its growth into a manufacturing hub in the industrial revolution, to the world wars and onwards to modernity, the history of Birmingham is one of migration. It is a story of which me in my own way, and my students in theirs are all a part.

At the far end of the gallery, on the wall, is this: 
"What's your Birmingham? Tell us what the city means to you." 

For me, Birmingham is these people, (and a million or so others). Birmingham is stepping outside my door into a diversity of colour and culture and the riches of humanity. Birmingham is it's history of migration, with all of its beauty and all of its struggles. It is the welcome it has offered to me to be a part of that history, that present and that future.

And for my Students? Well for them, Birmingham is:

"Birmingham is nice for me, there is new life and I have freedom and security"

"Birmingham is beautiful and has many buildings. It is different races"

"I love Birmingham city for the beautiful and wonderful nature and all the wonderful people"

"Birmingham is very big and very beautiful and it's a place of church"

"Birmingham is beautiful because everyone is living and working here"  

"Birmingham is a city of lots of different people"







Monday, 1 February 2016

#pray24brum

Last weekend, during the week of prayer for Christian Unity, Carrs Lane Church hosted the Birmingham Churches Together 24 hours of prayer. I am delighted that I was able to be involved in what was such a beautiful celebration of who we are and who we can be as church.

12 months ago, St Philip's Anglican cathedral held a similar event, marking Christian Unity and launching their 300th anniversary celebrations. An email exchange afterwards suggested it could happen again, perhaps becoming an annual celebration, and we agreed to take it on for this year. A small group of us, from different churches, have met periodically over the year and last weekend all the hard work paid off as we came together for an amazing 24 hours which celebrated our unity in all its diversity as we turned together towards God.

There were many wonderful things about being able to be involved in the organisation of #pray24brum, and in the day itself.

Since having my eyes opened to both its potential and its struggles as a student lucky enough to experience the wonderful Lancaster University Chaplaincy Centre, and later the Taize community, ecumenism has been very close to my heart. I know I am incredibly lucky, and perhaps relatively unusual, to have had my faith journey enriched by a wide variety of traditions: all of which have had value, none of which have been perfect.

With each hour of the day and night being led by a different church or group from a wide variety of different traditions, the event certainly felt like a space in which all of that diversity was being celebrated. There were churches with whom I am familiar and comfortable, and traditions which take me out of my normal experience. They all added something: but it was together that they were complete.

Birmingham is a very diverse city: therein lies its beauty, and what I have come to love about this city I now call home. But no-one would ever say such a reality is always plain sailing: and the complexity and struggle and at times anguish of this city also take root in that same diversity. The same could be said of the church with all its painful history and for me, last weekend was a beautiful witness to the possibility of reconciliation; the possibility that different as we are, there can be, there is, a point of commonality where we can draw close to one another.

Perhaps even more important than that, was that this whole event was about creating a space for prayer. Too often, in busy lives and, let's be honest, even in busy churches we can get so caught up in the detritus of life that sometimes prayer is the easiest part to sideline.

Prayer is easy to set aside because God is not going to insist. I believe in a God of love, and love does not force or impose. While other activities and expectations will shout at us, literally or metaphorically, God merely whispers. A whisper that is, perhaps intentionally, easy to ignore. A whisper that, if we dare to stop long enough to listen to it, is infinitely valuable.

Re-prioritising time for prayer has been a key impetus to the life we are trying to live here, and the day of prayer was a valuable boost to that vision. It came at the right time. I was just coming out of what had been a difficult couple of weeks where I had struggled with the reality that some of the things I hold most dear seemingly hold little of the same value for others. Precious indeed, then, to arrive at Sunday morning buoyed up by a reminder of why I have chosen the life I have, and perhaps particularly importantly, feeling supported by others in holding to that vision.

Having been involved in the organisation from the beginning, I had made the decision well before the day itself that I intended to stay for the whole event. I was a little bit tired by the end, but was also buzzing with enthusiasm and have zero regrets about staying throughout. I have, a week on, recovered from the sleep-deprivation, but on balance I would still rather be back last Sunday afternoon. Not just because a nap felt totally justified, which is always a good thing, but because I felt uplifted and inspired to be part of all that the church is, and should be, and can be and aspires to be: united, diverse and with prayer the very centre of its being and purpose.

I am very grateful to all who made it possible!

For some comments, clips and photos that might give something of a feel for what it was like:
https://twitter.com/hashtag/pray24brum?f=tweets&vertical=default

Wednesday, 27 January 2016

Consolation and transformation

While I lead prayer regularly, it is rare that I get the opportunity to preach. But having been very involved in the organisation of the Birmingham Churches Together 24 hours of prayer hosted by Carrs Lane last weekend (more on that to follow) I was also invited to be part of the Sunday morning service which rounded the whole event off. If you are going to only preach very occasionally, some would suggest that doing it when completely sleep deprived might not be the best plan ... on the other hand, doing so after spending the previous night and day praying and being inspired by the beauty of the church and all it could be is probably no bad thing. Anyway, this is, if you're interested, what I had to say:

I want to reflect briefly on how the beatitudes, for me, speak into the experience of both consolation and transformation.

I suspect I am not the only one to say I love the beatitudes; even if they have risked becoming clichéd and losing something of their radical power through overexposure. The beatitudes have inspired me to draw and to write. They have, I hope, more significantly, helped inspire me to live the life I am called to.

It seems to me the beatitudes come in three parts (like all good sermons). The first ones speak of those things which just are, over which we have often have no, or very little, control: places into which the God of consolation enters. When things are tough, just because they are, there is no sticking-plaster God who comes to make it all better. God does not promise we will not know poverty or mourning, but he does promise a greater joy. Blessed, or happy are they. This is no clichéd “it’ll all be ok in the end” God, rather it is the invitation to discover great depths of love and joy.

But that is not the end. The gospel doesn’t stop with this consolation. It doesn’t stop with this offer of unconditional love. By beatitude number 3, Jesus has moved on. These next beatitudes are no longer about things that just are, they are about things that can be. Things made possible by the unconditional love of God. The gospel which calls us forward into places of transformation. They Gospel that says not only can you do and be these things, but that they will be sources of deep joy. Made possible by the love of God, these beatitudes are those which we continually journey towards with faltering steps. Experiencing the depths of joy we discover in radical choices made as a response to the transformative love of God inspires us again and again to take new steps in the direction of our calling. I could give so many examples of living this experience of the blessing of joy leading forward to new places. Stepping out in front of armoured vehicles at the London arms fair, surrounded by others in prayerful protest; discovering hope amongst those who have been to the depths of human experience in my volunteering with refugees and asylum seekers ...

So what next? Well, the word blessed, or happy, aside the last beatitudes don’t make for particularly cheerful reading: promising, as they do, persecution and hardship. I don’t believe this is Jesus telling us to seek out suffering for its own sake: no, I think this is something both much simpler, and much more challenging. I think this promise is nothing more than the inevitable consequence of truly living out the other beatitudes. If we really do all that other stuff, if we truly dare to challenge injustice, and power and violence and the status quo, then we aren’t likely to be winning any popularity contests any time soon.

Which brings us back to where we began... because if we are going to live lives so radically transformed by our faith that they challenge the very fabric of society we need first to experience, the consolation of God’s unconditional love, and we need to keep returning to it again and again.

And here we are, drawing to a close 24 hours of a space to do just that... because this is the source and summit of that love: to open ourselves to God in prayer; not to do ro even to ask or to thank, but simply to be. Not just by ourselves but as a community, knowing we are loved by God both individually and together. The last twenty four hours have been a truly beautiful experience: a real celebration of our diversity, as well as of our unity in seeking this promised joy. For me at least, it has served as the inspiration I need for the next steps, whatever they might be, with and towards they God who loves me and wants me, and all of us, to know great joy.

*Probably ought to acknowledge a degree of plagiarism from my husband for a few of the ideas!

Friday, 15 January 2016

Silent Nights

One of our innovations in community this academic year has been to spend one evening most weeks in silence. Not every single week, as there are some other intrusions which are unavoidable, but as a general rule, Wednesdays are booked out, not to DO anything; in fact, exactly the opposite.

We eat a simple meal, usually soup and bread, together in silence; have evening prayer as usual, then spend the evening in silence until we close with very short night prayer at 9.15.

For me, at least, this silent space has not just been about not talking to each other: it is also the evening when my phone is switched off and laptop lid stays resolutely closed. No facebook, no email. No marking or planning or sorting diary dates. No getting jobs done or adding more things to a never-ending jobs list.

A time to read or sometimes to write. To draw or to paint. To walk, to sit, to reflect, to pray; and sometimes, for a time, to do absolutely nothing at all.

Those who know me personally will know that quiet isn't perhaps the very first word that springs to mind. Silent, definitely not.

And yet this promise of silence each week, this time to stop and say I do not always have to do, has been a lifeline, a release valve and a beautiful space.

I cannot recommend it strongly enough.

Do you set aside times of quiet for openness to the Holy Spirit? All of us need to find a way into silence which allows us to deepen our wareness of the divine and to find the inward source of our strength. Seek to know an inward stillness, even amid the activities of daily life. Do you encourage in yourself and others a habit of dependence on God's guidance for each day? Hold yourself in the Light, knowing that all are cherished by God.
(Quaker Advices and Queries 4.)


Sunday, 3 January 2016

Paris and beyond

I have been meaning to write this post for a while, since returning from Paris where we went to join the action towards the end of the COP21 climate summit, but the busy-ness of the end of term, and then Christmas got in the way!

The media have long since moved on from what might have been discussed or decided at COP21 so this post is distinctly less topical than it might have been. However, in retrospect, perhaps that is no bad thing.... because if climate change is one of the biggest threats facing our future, then the fact that we have stopped talking about it a month after the supposedly historic climate deal is perhaps somewhat worrying. Unless it has escaped my attention, we haven't even started to make the radical changes we might need to, so writing about it now is no less relevant than before Christmas.

Enough has probably been written about the deal itself: the politicians and much of the mainstream media heralding a historic deal; most aid agencies and campaign groups dismissing it as empty words which even if they were legally binding, which they are not, do not go anywhere near far enough to keep us away from the dangerous tipping points of climate chaos. In reality George Monbiot's assessment "By comparison to what it could have been it's a miracle; by comparison to what it should have been, it's a disaster" probably hits the mark.

We arrived in Paris the middle of week two of the talks, and apart from eating good food, drinking good wine and catching up with good friends, we spent much of our time in the "climate action zone" a centre set up for activists and others to come together to listen, learn, discuss, plan, and take action. We arrived to be told it was already clear that the climate deal, if it were reached, would be completely ineffective in facing the challenges ahead.

Such an introduction, you might think, could have made for a very depressing beginning to our few days. Well, actually, no. With that fact accepted as an inevitable reality, the climate action zone, and most of those we met, were focused on creating spaces for real politics and real change. Being in Paris wasn't really about influencing the politicians and diplomats holed up in a private airport, it was about inspiring and enthusing ourselves: the groups and the individuals, the incredibly committed and the vaguely concerned, the very knowledgeable and the slightly confused. It was a space to reflect on the effectiveness of non-violent direct action, to share tips for lifestyle choices, to discuss how to make divestment from fossil fuels a reality, to challenge prevalent economic models, the list could go on ...

And then, to coincide with the ending of the summit, there would be people on the streets saying we too want to be those who have the last word. It is perhaps worthy of mention that the long-planned protests at the summit were, as it turned out, taking place in a particularly difficult context. The state of emergency declared after the Paris terrorist attacks was being used to close down all public protest gatherings: meaning speaking out on the last day of the summit was going to require both creativity and commitment.

Creativity was much in evidence at the day's first protest, where the need for a large gathering was avoided by sending out lots and lots of small groups across the city to take photos and "geolocalise" on a website in order to spell out the message "Climate Justice Peace". Minor technical hitches aside (!) it was a safe, easy way for lots of people to get involved, and even accessible to the reluctant protester.

Warnings about how to handle tear gas and police batons featured heavily in the training for the principle protest of the day, with which organisers intended to press ahead despite its being banned. (although by the time it took place was in the ambiguous position of being "neither forbidden nor permitted"). Escalation, from both protesters and police, is after all very well documented in French protest history! My initial response to the training was, I admit, apprehension: but surrounded by the energy and enthusiasm of others, it soon felt like it would still be the right place to be. And it was. Of all the gatherings that day, this "red lines" protest was the one that felt the most vibrant and alive, while still remaining peaceful and controlled. Coming together to form the "red lines" which cannot be crossed to avoid climate chaos, there was deep symbolism that it is us ourselves, by where we place our own bodies, who can ultimately decide what happens next: but symbolic doesn't have to mean staid, and it was a space full of colour and laughter and hope and joy. Oh and free vegan food and giant inflatable cobble stones, also good additions to the proceedings!

News was received the day before that the final gathering and rally under the Eiffel tower was going to be allowed by the police. Whether it was because of this, or the incredibly thorough security checks on the way in, or just because it was later in the day and you can only sustain that kind of energy for so long, this felt like it lacked some of the vitality of the earlier gathering. That said, I am very glad there was a safe space where everyone who wanted to felt able to participate in making their voices about climate change heard, and I am glad to have stood up to be counted as part of that crowd. For me, perhaps what stood out most about this final gathering was that even before the crowds drifted away, volunteer littler pickers started the clear-up. I was struck by it because it summed up much of what the few days had been about: it is, in the end, what we choose to DO that matters most.

Being in Paris was about knowing we are not alone. It was about believing that there are other possibilities. It was about knowing there is still hope.

That, ultimately, is why I am very glad I was there.


Saturday, 26 December 2015

Glimmers of Christmas

A young family on an enforced journey
Through weary days and fear-filled night
But in the midst of a bewildering message from God
A glimmer of a promise still shines bright

A flock of humanity huddled on a hillside
Pushed out into the darkening night
Yet in unearthly melodies of angel song
A glimmer of heaven’s beauty still shines bright

Strange visitors travelling westward
Daring to offer what gifts they might
In pinpricks of starlight in a shadowy sky
A glimmer of a new kingdom still shines bright

Curled in a place fit only for animals
Hope of new life stills a relentless plight
As in outstretched hands of human welcome
A glimmer of humanity still shines bright

Halting but for a moment, as further exile waits
Struggling onwards in hurried flight
Somewhere in hazy dreams of a hidden future
A glimmer of possibility still shines bright

Journeying through the cold, dark pain of exclusion
Too many still live with that first Christmas night
But in the eternal resilience of the Spirit
A glimmer of the incarnation still shines bright









Merry Christmas!

Friday, 4 December 2015

Of Sodom

The Old Testament story of Sodom is not necessarily the most obvious choice of a text to reflect on for a Christian pacifist: God destroying an entire city because of their misbehaviour can hardly be described as helpful in speaking of a God of Peace.

And yet, when part of this text cropped up in our prayer this week, I felt it spoke into the heart of at least one of my reasons for objecting to military action in Syria.

Before the destruction of Sodom, we read an interaction between God and Abraham.

Abraham speaks to God saying “Will you sweep away the righteous with the wicked? What if there are fifty righteous people in the city? Will you really sweep it away and not spare the place for the sake of the fifty righteous people in it?” Genesis 19:23-24. For righteous, a word that perhaps doesn’t have the same power today, we might read innocent lives.

And God replies that for the sake of fifty he will not destroy it.

The dialogue continues, with the number of innocents gradually reducing until God answers “For the sake of ten, I will not destroy it” Genesis 19: 32

And this is where, suddenly, the Sodom story is not so inaccessible to those of us who want to speak for peace.

Will ten innocents die?

Because if so, God’s answer is clear: even in the midst of one of the most violent biblical stories; even in the very earliest days of this people’s walk towards understanding the true nature of the God who loves them; even here, for the sake of ten innocents, disaster is stayed.

Why, oh why, do we still have so much to learn?

Saturday, 28 November 2015

Published!

Those of you who read this blog regularly will know I quite like writing poetry.

Beginning to share my writing here was something of a leap of faith - putting something of myself into the public domain (even if I knew it was to a fairly sympathetic audience). I was really pleased to be able to share what I had written beyond just me and a very immediate audience, but nervous too.

Now I have taken the next step.

Several of my recent poems have been inspired by my work at St Chad's Sanctuary. Others naturally link in to my experiences there. So I have collected some together and created a short poetry book. Well, book might be a bit of an exaggeration, more of a pamphlet I guess.

I'm selling them to raise money for St Chad's Sanctuary.

I can definitely acknowledge a thrill in seeing them in print. The arrival of boxes of my "published" (albeit self-published) work was very exciting. I am pleased with how they look, have appreciated the positive feedback, and am guarding against (hopefully) any adverse effects on my ego!

But it is a bit more complicated, because for the first time (I don't count primary school crafts and the like!) I am daring to ask people to part with money in exchange for my creative efforts. And who am I to say my work is worth paying for? It takes a degree of confidence I only partly have to make that assertion.

I do want them to sell though, and it is ultimately the knowledge that all the proceeds will go to a very good cause which I deeply believe in which gives me the confidence to invite people to buy them. It is after all a donation to something worthwhile and if someone appreciates what they get in return, so much the better.

PS ... This is in no way intended as a sales pitch, just my usual rambling reflections on how I'm feeling about my latest venture.

Monday, 23 November 2015

A time for saying no


We have now been at Carrs Lane for well over two years and I think it is safe to say we have learned a lot along the way. There have been predictable challenges and unexpected ones; there have been lessons we have learned relatively easily and those which have been much harder to get to grips with.

One of the things we have continuously struggled with as we have tried to establish our rhythm of life here has been the right amount of busy-ness. To know when it is right to say yes, and when it is necessary to say no. It is a balance we know we haven't always got right: There is so much to do. So much of it is good. 

Expectations we place on ourselves, balanced against the expectations we sense from others. The things we know we could easily give up but which we really value balanced against the things we don't particularly enjoy but over which we feel we have little choice. The pressures of the little things we forget to take into account when planning out what we can fit in. The endless juggling of the many different building blocks which make for a fulfilled life.

All lived in the knowledge that we all have a breaking point and while it may be fine to tip towards it, going through it is not recommended. Like all the other lessons we have learned and are continuing to learn though, this one too needs to be taken seriously, and, two years in, it is one towards which I feel we are making some progress. We are beginning to make more space. Together, and individually, we are learning to value rest as part of our contribution to community too.

This is the context in which, at half-term, instead of ploughing on regardless or catching up on all the jobs that inevitably build up, we decided to just say no. To leave the undone undone and to just go away, right away. Away from endless emails and the distractions of the detritus of life. Away to cups of tea, walks in the countryside and an open-fire. Three weeks back into another busy term, the value of those days, the value of stopping, still holds firm.

Maybe it is an inevitable reality of this life we have chosen that we will always be close to the limits of how much we can handle. Even though it is exhausting at times, I love it this way. Life is rich and full and varied, and much of it I would never want to change.

We are still walking the tightrope but perhaps this year, we are closer to falling off on the right side.
 

Saturday, 7 November 2015

I'm sorry I do not know your name

Names are important. They are the words by which we make sense of the world. They are tied up in history, and religion, and culture. They are how we create and receive our identity, or identities. They enable relationship. They are given as a gift from those who love us most.

Anonymity can be important too. A place to hide from who we really are or from who others think we may be. A freedom to express something the identifiable self cannot or will not say. An escape from a reality too painful or too constrained to contain who we have become.

One of the blogposts I wrote during the summer included references to the “Sudanese male” who died in the channel tunnel. There have been others before and since, both here and at every other stage on this arduous journey. There are exceptions, but most, like him, have remained unknown and unnamed.

I was struck at the time by this absence of a distinguishable, personal identity. It was so different from my relationship with the asylum seekers I know: real people, with not just names, but families and histories, with fears and hopes and dreams.

And yet I knew I could not challenge his anonymity by revealing theirs. When I have written about them, I have also concealed their identities behind a protective veil of anonymity. But there is a difference, I think (hope) because they have taken ownership of their anonymity. But his is an anonymity that has been imposed rather than chosen.  It is not the anonymity of protection, but the anonymity of being ignored.

Maybe he would have wanted it this way. I doubt anyone tried to find out. We will never know.


Sometimes
There is a place
A safer space
Where
In the protection of a promise
Anonymity can choose its name
And each can opt
To not be known
To hide
From all they are and cannot be

But what of you
Was this your choice?
To remain forever
Unnamed, unknown

Or were you victim of a system
In which
No-one tried to learn your name

And would you choose that once
Just once,
A friendly voice might whisper

Your name

Was it far from here, and long ago
That someone
Carved
The promise of an identity
Inscribed in love
With all you are and hope to be

This the gift
Of those you knew
Left far behind
To wonder
Where are you now

Who’ll never know your final fate
A better way
Perhaps
That they might live with this
The hope you dared to share
That you might find
A better place
A safer space

 The protective veil
Through which one day
You might just dare
To whisper once again

Your name

The promise of an identity
Inscribed in love
With all you are and hope to be

In the midst of this,
Our nation’s shame
I’m sorry
That I do not know
And cannot speak
Not even once

Your name.


Saturday, 10 October 2015

"It was difficult for me"

This particular poem has been a work in progress for quite some time. Well that's not strictly accurate; for most of that time it was simply the germ of an idea. It was inspired by the film making project I did with my St Chad's Sanctuary students - the same project that led to the "In their own words" posts before the summer. 

When telling her story, one of the students interspersed the account of her leaving her home, her journey, and her arrival in the UK with the phrase "it was difficult for me", and I was struck at the time by what a spectacular understatement that was when talking about leaving all she knew, crossing the channel in a lorry "like a freezer", and arriving in a place where she understood not one word of the language. 

Crossing the Mediterranean in an undoubtedly unseaworthy boat, and having to eat rice for her first days in the UK in the hostel, were treated to the same "It was difficult for me"; creating a strange equality between what seem to be incomparable experiences. I am struggling to explain, even to myself, why I found this equalising of the major and the minor oddly moving.

It was an understatement, no doubt, borne of not having the complexity of language it would need to even begin to express some of the horrors she had lived: and yet in it's understated simplicity it somehow, perhaps expressed more than a much richer vocabulary might be able to say (hasn't stopped me having a go though!) 

At 20, far from home
She has already etched 
So much of life
On pages torn and tattered

And here and now
She dares to tell
A story, her story
That echoes a million others
Yet speaks
Of a journey all her own

A tale which glows with warmth
At the tender memory of a homeland
And the riches of a culture
Scarred and scared
Yet deeply loved 
And deeply missed

In the midst of this
A narrative nightmare
Which does not flinch
Or turn away
From heavy truth
But speaks
With haunting honesty
Of the pain of loss and trembling fear
And bitter, biting cold

Interspersed
With these few words
The broken English stutter
Of a masterful understatement
“It was difficult for me”

But, pen poised, she knows
That this is not where the story ends
As with humble grace
She raises eyes of shining hope
To say 
I am happy to be here.
I am free.

Friday, 18 September 2015

I can, I will, I am (2)

Some time ago I wrote this poem:
http://stepsadventures.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/i-can-i-will-i-am.html

A few weeks ago I used it as the starting point for a poetry workshop at St Chad's summer school. It was an opportunity to reflect on life and identity, as well as to learn some new English vocabulary along the way. With both a great desire to learn and a great willingness to share, a disparate group of people from around the world came together to create something beautiful.

Sometimes with very little English, but always with a great deal of honesty, the workshop proved to be about more than just writing: it became a place for the expression of pains and joys, of hopes and fears, of normal, everyday experiences and of horrors I can't begin to imagine. But after collecting ideas, sharing, developing and refining them, it culminated in the writing of a poem together.

I think the final result deserves an audience beyond that group who gathered one morning in July so I am sharing it here.

I can love in many, many different ways
I can dance when the music plays
I can help people who need me and show that I care
I can live my own life in a place of fresh air

I will learn always, every day, every time, forever until death
I will know about love, about life, about how the world works
I will share ideas for a better future together
I will go to new places and change my life

I am sometimes lost but I hope to be found
I am always surprised by the joy of life!

Sunday, 13 September 2015

God of the Open Door

A few years back in Taize, during a week in silence, we were invited to reflect on which facet of Jesus we most identified with. This was certainly not about denying other aspects of God's identity, but about discovering a way of relating to God which was helpful for each of us individually. 

There is nothing new about identifying with different images of God: the crucifix and the nativity scene; the brother, the lord; the one who rebels, the one who serves, the one who teaches. Focus on the specific does not detract from belief in the whole.

I realised very clearly that my image of God was the joyful Christ. The Jesus I was closest to was the one who dances at the wedding feast and makes more wine so the party can go on. It is an image that has remained helpful for me. Yes I believe in the Christ who suffers on the cross and calls us to share in that suffering in a world which makes God weep: but I also believe in a God who calls us to joy and wants us to be happy.

I found myself reflecting on a similar theme this year, and discovered another identity of God to be one I also now hold dear, "The God of the Open Door".   

Then again, perhaps these two images are not so far apart: it is the openness, the hospitality, the drawing in of the other, the building of community which enables the outburst of joy. It is together that we can discover true happiness.

Friday, 11 September 2015

No Faith in War

It's been a while, so I guess it must be high time for another blog post! Especially as I certainly have no shortage of things I would like to write about ... so many that actually fitting in the time to write about them is proving something of a struggle! After a very full summer and a slightly hectic return to the new year (because everyone knows "new year" is in September, right?!) I probably have enough material to bore you all in many posts in the weeks to come.

To begin though, I want to write something about Tuesday, when I, along with may others, gathered at the gates of the ExCeL centre in London where preparations are going ahead for one of the world's biggest arms fairs. Part of a sustained week of creative action to impede the setup of the event, Tuesday was entitled "No Faith in War" and was an invitation to people of faith to stand against the evils of the arms trade. Gathering from about 9am, we maintained a presence of both prayer and protest at the gates all day, with people coming and going throughout.

Peacefully, prayerfully, many of those present stepped out into the roads, preventing access to the entrances to the centre where preparations for next week's exhibition are underway. Multiple blockades throughout the day, including one point where entrances at both ends of the centre were closed. Informal prayers and songs sat in front of a growing tailback of lorries and a funeral procession for the unnumbered victims of the arms trade were among the powerful moments which took place in the approach roads to the ExCeL gates.

This was not a passive vigil of witness but a creative, active response to one of the great evils of our time; but the atmosphere throughout remained one of respectful peace as well as of passion deeply rooted in gospel values. I remained conscious through the day of the stark contrast between this and the preparations behind closed doors for an event which will contribute to the continuing escalation of instability and conflict; the human cost of which is increasingly evident.

DSEi takes place once every two years and brings thousands of arms manufacturers and dealers together with representatives of global governments and military, including those from some of the world's most repressive regimes. Even if actual money doesn't change hands, we are facilitating relationships between some very dodgy characters. As the refugee crisis in Europe draws our attention to increasing global conflict and human misery, there is an almost sickening irony in knowing many of these conflicts are fuelled by a trade which is being encouraged here in our capital.

For me, the theme of the beatitudes reverberated through the day. We heard them several times with different groups independently choosing its inclusion in their liturgies.
The power of Jesus' words, spoken as they were to an audience living under a military occupation, resonated through acts of repentance and resistance, in the face of a system which continues to perpetuate violence and oppression.

The sense of joy and community which pervaded the day, even in the seemingly impenetrable face of death and destruction allowed me, us, to experience the truth of His blessing, that the peacemakers and those who hunger and thirst for justice will know happiness.

I came away uplifted and inspired. This for me, is where and how the church should be. Thank you, to all who were church with and for me that day.

Thursday, 30 July 2015

The duty, and joy, of welcome

"Everyone has the right to seek and to enjoy in other countries asylum from persecution"
Universal Declaration of Human Rights 1948, Article 14


It is conflicting emotions and experiences this week that have compelled me to sit down and try to draw together into a blog post the numerous strands of thought which are currently floating around my brain. It risks being both much too long and somewhat confused, but hopefully a few vaguely coherent thoughts will be discernible somewhere within it.

I have the pleasure of spending most of this week in St Chad’s Sanctuary, a place regular readers of this blog will know is very dear to my heart. It is summer school this week, when our students are invited to spend the week participating in a variety of activities and it is certainly no sacrifice to dedicate a week of my school holidays to spending time with them.

There have been any number of highlights, among which:

·      The week began on a high as I invited 12 students from 7 different countries with varying levels of English to explore life and identity in a poetry writing workshop (there may be another post to follow with some of the results of that one). As well as serving as a testament to their engagement and enthusiasm for learning, some profound ideas were shared, even with very few words.

·      Playing football with a group of young men certainly both fitter and more talented than me, but who were determined to include me and who, along with their energy and enthusiasm, exhibited a sportsmanship and concern for one another from which the premiership players have much to learn.

·      Tuesday was our annual “school trip” which this year took us to a National Trust property outside Birmingham. There were exclamations of pleasure over fresh air and views of the countryside. There were discussions in the vegetable gardens about memories of farms back home. There was sharing and conversation and games and music and laughter.

·      Taking a group to the library where, with lots of support, two ladies with virtually no English were able to become members of the library and were clearly delighted to take away dual language picture books to improve their English.

·      There is more still to come and I am really looking forward to this afternoon's end of year barbecue and celebration event and to seeing my students collect their certificates, well-deserved after a year of hard work.

Meanwhile every day the media swirls with stories of the desperation of those still trying to seek sanctuary on our shores. Except often, it is not that desperation which dominates the headlines: it is the inconvenience of traffic jams, the determination to build a better barrier, the complaints that the French aren’t doing enough, the myths and contortions that are allowed to shape our understanding of a complicated situation. Myths that mean it is acceptable to "blame the migrants" for social strains which clearly would be more appropriately blamed on the ever-increasing concentration of our nation's wealth in the hands of the privileged few.

I know we have, as a nation, a long history of blaming the French, always an easy target as the butt of our jokes, but while their failure to stop migrants reaching the UK is oft cited, it is rarely mentioned that the French received more than twice as many asylum claims as us last year and rank above us (but below Germany, Sweden and Italy) among European countries welcoming the highest numbers of refugees. All of these pale into insignificance compared to the countries which welcome the most displaced people, all of which are in the Middle-East, Asia and Africa (with Turkey taking the top spot in 2014). It is by no means true that “they all want to come here.”

Actually, Britain hosts less that 1% of the world’s refugees. At a time when increased conflict and the ravages of climate change are creating the greatest refugee crisis since the second world war, that is a shocking, and to my mind shameful statistic.

Among yesterday's headlines was the news that one young man died, the ninth so far this year to die on that stage of the journey: to be added to the hundreds who have died in the Mediterranean, and the deaths in the Sahara of which no-one even keeps count. The news coverage spoke dispassionately of the death of a “migrant” or “Sudanese male”. ... but he was, first and foremost, surely, a human being. A son and probable a brother, perhaps a husband and maybe a father. Unnamed, unknown, forgotten. I wonder how different the headlines would have been if he had been a young white British man instead. 

David Cameron’s response was to express concern ... which might have been encouraging: except his concern was neither for this young man who lost his life, nor his family or friends who may never know of his fate, nor even the others so desperate they continue to take this same risk. No his concern was for British holiday makers facing delays to their journeys ... where, oh where did we go so far wrong?

And then this morning I was further enraged by another news headline, in which Cameron declares: “Britain is no safe haven” And somehow that is supposed to be a good thing? Taking a hard line as we turn away those fleeing desperate situations we neither want to nor are able to imagine is something of which we should be proud?

I have met some of these people.

Many of the students I teach at St Chad’s entered Britain this way. They risked their lives crossing conflict zones, the Sahara, the Mediterranean. They left behind families, friends and familiarity. They came because they had no other choice. They came because they had experienced poverty and hunger, violence and torture, corruption, destruction and fear. They came because they hoped to find a place of safety. They came, too, to give their gifts and talents and time and love to a place they believed would make them welcome. They came to participate and contribute as much as to receive and to be appreciative of things which, by an accident of birth, we completely take for granted.  They came with hopes and dreams and aspirations. They came as human beings. 

My life is infinitely richer for knowing them.

That young man who died, had he not done, might have been one of those who I encouraged, in faltering English, to express something of his deepest desires in a poem. He might have been one of those who asked others to slow down so that “Teacher” could have a kick of the ball. One of those who, looking at a vegetable garden, shared stories about farming back home. One of those whose face would have been wreathed in smiles receiving a very simple certificate recognising an effort made.

For many of those who make it, Britain does, eventually, recognise its responsibility under international law. 87% of Eritreans who claim asylum here have their claim accepted. That is little consolation for those who died on the way. There is nothing “bogus” or “illegal” about these people. They have a genuine and legitimate fear which drives them away from a desperate situation and brings them through unimaginable trials to our shores. It is our responsibility and should be our joy to offer them new opportunities in a place of safety.

Amidst all the talk of bigger fences and better policing, there is a different solution to the delays for the holiday makers that David Cameron is so concerned about. There are alternative ways to respond to this crisis that are rarely suggested in the media or political discourse. 

We could, if we chose to, live up to our claim to be a “civilised nation”, live up to our desire to preach freedom and democracy to the world. As a nation we are richer than we have ever been. We do not have to spend our money on fences and security. If we provided safe routes for those fleeing war, famine, persecution, corruption, violence, poverty, and climate change, then perhaps they would not need to risk life and limb (and traffic delays) seeking the safety, we, and others promised we would afford them in the Refugee Convention of 1951. 

Saturday, 25 July 2015

A wind of love

A spirit’s breath
A wind of love
That chases leaves
Under shifting canopies
Of dappled light
Through wise old trees

A wind which
blows
And oft times
Grows

The gentle breeze
And forceful gusts
Of shifting dust

The debris
Of lives lived
Alone
Together
Made tangible in
Love

A love that falls
Like summer rain
And pierced with pain
Lives on
In gentle joy

And elusive wisps
Of dark and light
Fly
On a spirit’s breath
Of a wind of love

Tuesday, 14 July 2015

We drink from many wells

In September, The Church at Carrs Lane will host the URC's national "multicultural day" as part of which churches are invited to contribute an artwork to an exhibition, relating to the theme "we drink from many wells". In a rash moment I offered to lead the congregation in producing a communal work of art which we did during the service one Sunday morning. I was (and hope others were too) quite pleased with the result; but recognise that it requires some kind of explanation to make sense to anyone who wasn't involved in the process.

I know this kind of activity will have suited some of those involved, while for others it probably sent their hearts into their boots; but I hope that something of the symbolism of the process as much as the finished piece, proved a meaningful way to explore both the challenges and the beauty of creating community. 

Initially, everyone was invited to create their own image of a well on a square of paper. Each one was unique and beautiful. Stage two then required each person to cut up the image they had just created, symbolic of the ways in which, in order to come together with others, we sometimes need to break or destroy something which to us already seems very beautiful; to give up parts of ourselves that we have constructed with time, effort and care.

Keeping hold of one of our own pieces, we each reconstructed an image made up of parts of each others’ original creations. We saw only part of each image, just as we can only ever glimpse parts of the lives of those we encounter.  Making the selection allowed us to look at pieces similar to our own, as well as very different, at pieces we instantly understood as well as pieces we didn’t really get, at pieces the beauty or talent of which was instantly recognisable, as well as those in which we perhaps had to look harder to see the value.

Finally these newly reconsituted images were put together: the final creation is the sum of all our individual parts, but put together in new and different ways that probably none of us (not even me who was orchestrating the whole thing) could have imagined before we began.  

The following poem came later in response to this shared creative process and something of what it tries to say about the process of creating community ... Being here, living this life we are aspiring towards, I have experienced both fractured walls and healing waters.


And here I am
In this, the waiting place
Amidst
Unfathomable depths
And the echoing of silence
A space, my space, of carefully constructing
A beauty all my own

By this the well
The dwelling place
Of fractured walls and healing waters

Watching, waiting, holding
Until a single drop
That shatters in an instant
That silent stillness

And yet
Is it not here
Through these
The cracked and broken shards
A spark may shine
To release the reflected rainbows
Of the beauty of our broken whole

In this the well
The dwelling place
Of fractured walls and healing waters

And when we dare
To turn our glance from depths to heights
This place of isolation
Transformed, transfigured
By an encounter with the other

And here
To find our place
Amidst
A hidden beauty

An outstretched hand
That does not seek to understand
But offers trust

A space, our space of meeting with the other
That we might glimpse our God



At this the well
The dwelling place
Of fractured walls and healing waters