Thursday 10 September 2020

Happy New Year!

For me, as for many who work in academic cycles, September is synonymous with new beginnings. This, much more so than January, is when I mark the new year. 

Most of the significant changes: of jobs, of home, of projects, in my life have taken place over the summer. Not all summers, of course, have involved such major changes, but it has always been the time of stopping, taking stock, starting again. This time last year I had just left my role as ESOL co-ordinator, had significantly cut my hours at St Chad's Sanctuary, and was in the process of trying to set-up Stories of Hope and Home. That all feels a very long time ago! 

This year feels somewhat different, unlike any September that has preceded it, possibly ever. 

I've been trying to reflect a little on why. It's not like I had the whole of last summer off: I ran a series of slightly bonkers family days out which were wonderful but certainly involved no small amount of effort. I did lots of paperwork and rounding off tasks to hand over my role in the smoothest possible way (the colleagues I left behind should probably be the judges of how well that worked out) I wrote a constitution, opened a bank account, dreamed dreams about getting a new project off the ground. Its not how hard I am working that feels different this year.

And equally its not like I haven't had opportunities for fun activities over the summer this year: there may not have been any significant travel nor big group events, for obvious reasons, but that hasn't meant I couldn't do anything fun. I have been lucky enough to have several trips away, even if each has only been brief. Lockdown easing definitely allowed a shift from preceding months. Logically, I can point to plenty of things that marks the summer out from the rest of the year.  

And yet, somehow, it just doesn't feel like I've had the same shift in routine. I am aware some very deliberate choices have contributed to that. They are choices I stand by and about which I have no regrets. Every other year, we have taken a summer break from the routine of prayer, whereas this year morning prayer has continued throughout the summer: a reflection of the fact that it has felt an important anchoring point for me during these months, even more so than usual. In other circumstances, Stories of Hope and Home might have taken a summer break but both maintaining the online contact with that group of people, and taking advantage of the opportunity to actually meet each other felt hugely important and valuable (for me as well as them).  

And so, September has somewhat crept up on me. Normally, this is the time for formulating plans, dreaming dreams and making things happen. But the year ahead still feels so full of unknowns, so vague and completely "unplannable" Normally this is also the time for getting back into routines, getting back to normal, but while there are glimmers that some of that is beginning to happen, the idea of returning to "normality" any time soon seems rather unlikely. 

Of course, I can see plenty that will be able to keep me busy in the coming weeks and months: including both returning to routines and building on new possibilities. I can identify exciting potential even in this new strange reality we seem to be stuck with for the foreseeable future. I hope I will be able to grasp some of those opportunities. No doubt you'll hear about them here!

September is a time of new beginnings, and change is always unsettling. I guess I'm acknowledging that this year feels unsettled in very different ways to usual.

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