I haven't written much on here for a while.
This isn't exactly unusual. Any cursory glance back through my blog will very much show that, apart form the very first year of it, content always comes in fits and starts. So perhaps I shouldn't be surprised but, rightly or wrongly, I have had something of a sense recently that I *should* have things I want to write. Maybe I thought I would write more over the summer when a change of schedule would create spaces to reflect. Maybe I feel like I want to have the words to explain and explore current realities and experiences. Maybe I am yearning for more creative energy than I currently have.
Anyone who knows me knows I rarely run out of words and yet, somehow, at the moment, though I have plenty to say, I don't seem to quite have the right words to say it. It is a strange place for me, as a great lover of language, to find myself.
Perhaps it's partly because quite a bit of my writing energy this summer has gone into writing other things. The Stories of Hope and Home annual report is well on its way to completion (watch this space in the next couple of months) and I've made a concerted effort on writing multiple funding bids which will, hopefully, if other people can see as much value in what we are doing as I can, help to put this little charity on a more sustainable footing.
It will surprise nobody who knows me to hear that the admin parts of my job are not high on my list of favourite activities. It is testament to how much I believe in my work and want it to succeed that I do mostly more or less manage to keep on top of them. Having said that, while that is very much true of the daily grind of recording expenses or noting down attendance or replying to emails, actually, writing the annual report and funding bids does have its enjoyable side.
They offer a chance to step back, to identify and celebrate all we have achieved so far. They make me pause to find the words and numbers that at least partially capture the impact of what we are doing. Of course, collating data can only ever tell a tiny part of our story. So much of what is of the greatest value is indefinable and cannot be contained in a quote or a statistic, so much of it is there in the little comments and conversations, in the almost imperceptible changes we observe. Nonetheless, this process does make all the record keeping feel worth while as those 'ticks in boxes' through the year add up to reminders of the reach and breadth of all we have done together. The evaluation forms and feedback, while they can't sum up the project in its entirety, stand as reminders of who we are and what we are doing and why it matters. And, if I do say so myself, so much of it is good!
They offer a chance to look ahead: to dream dreams and consider the potential for what might be possible in the future as this project born out of a play and a vision in 2019 becomes increasingly established. To consider direction and priorities, to make sure we feel like we are on the right track and that this project continues to meet fulfil a need.
They offer a chance to remind myself, should I need it, and to share with other exactly why I believe this little project has such great value. And for that reason, whether or not any of them result in any money (which hopefully they will) they are words well spent.
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