Several days ago, someone said to me that they thought it was "too late to say Merry Christmas" ... I, on the other hand, while I don't tend to get into the Christmas spirit too far in advance of the day itself, do like to fully embrace the concept of Christmas as a whole season which only gets started on the 25th. I don't think I have done a bad job of making the most of the twelve days, and I know I am incredibly privileged to have shared it with so many wonderful people!
On the first day of Christmas...
Although actually, I feel the 24th needs inclusion too, which was when the Christmas festivities really began because otherwise I don't get to mention crying literal happy tears over hearing someone had just got their refugee status; or a really fun evening of Karaoke classics, a late night with friends, and a sleepover.
Christmas day started early because as both sleepovers and Christmas are very exciting the children were awake predictably, (but not unreasonably), early. I was right to think I wouldn't need to set an alarm to get the turkey in on time or get to church. After church it was all hands on deck for dinner prep and if some of the "help" wasn't entirely helpful, it was a fun communal activity! The rest of the day consisted of dinner and the accompanying conversation gathered round the table, the excitement of gift-giving and opening, plenty of music and games, and even some painting in the evening.
We weren't quite as big as a crowd as I'd initially anticipated, but my heart was full as I shared the day with some of the people who really matter to me. Christmas is often talked about as a time to share with family: and I feel incredibly blessed to count all these wonderful different people from different places as part of mine!
On the second day of Christmas...
By late morning, my guests had dispersed and the house was suddenly very quiet. I was torn, at that point, between going out to make the most of what was left of the few hours of daylight or having a nap. The nap won! And then there was a substantial amount of tidying and reorganised which filled up much of the rest of a very laid back sort of a day.
On the third day of Christmas...
It was the Stories of Hope and Home Christmas party day and, aware that even some of those who have been in the UK for really quite a long time would never have shared in many of our British Christmas traditions, I somehow got it into my head that it might be nice to have Christmas dinner ... for a large, and largely unpredictable, number of people. As being considered completely mad is never something I have shied away from, I ran with it and, if I do say so myself, it was a wonderful success. I spent all morning preparing: I don't regret it for a moment.
The house was full of a wonderful combination of people which brought together old friends, including those who hadn't been around for a while, and newer group members. There were conversations and laughter and community. There was news being shared, friendships renewed, new acquaintances established. At the height of the festivities I counted 28 people (although 8 of them were quite small!) squashed into my house, which probably isn't really big enough for that many people but it really didn't matter. It was loud, chaotic and messy.... and utterly beautiful.
On the fourth day of Christmas...
It was the first of our Birch Holiday Club days. Lots of activities shut down during this holiday, understandably so, but as we had the option to do so we were keen to go ahead with something for the families we work with: it is even harder during school holidays to be cooped up in a hotel room than it is the rest of the time.
The weather being particularly grim probably accounted for fewer people coming out than we might have expected but there were still enough people to fill the hall with laughter and fun. It was a day where I was once again struck by the juxtaposition of joy and struggle. In the midst of giving out chocolate lollypops and watching children learn to hula hoops and trying to gently ensure there were no major arguments about exactly which children would hold my hands or sit next to me on the bus, there were conversations about, among other things, homelessness and home office interviews and the accompanying distress. There was laughter, and there were tears: and there were hugs for both.
After dropping the families back to the hotel, I met a friend for a cup of tea, feeling only slightly self-conscious about still being dressed as an elf! I love the big gatherings with lots of noise and lots of people but I really appreciate these opportunities for more focused one to one time and the chance for deeper, more meaningful conversations.
On the fifth day of ChristmasI spent a chunk of the morning planting spring bulbs into my garden. Having cleared (with a lot of help, I definitely can't take most of the credit) the very overgrown garden I arrived to, the much more fun part of planting things could begin. I bought these bulbs a couple of months ago, back at that point in time when you are supposed to plant them but, you know, life, busy-ness etc. Having read something that said you can still plant them up until December, I got them in with a day to spare! Now it's a waiting game to see if it was in fact, too late, or whether they will add a splash of colour in spring.
Another day, another party, although just to mix it up, it was a birthday rather than Christmas this time, and I wasn't hosting or in anyway responsible for anything other than turning up! And just like that my youngest nephew is four, ... and my oldest is now much taller than me which is somewhat disconcerting!
This was with Matthew's side of the family. I am acutely aware that when long-term relationships breakdown or change shape it is often these other extended family relationships which are also put at risk. I am extremely grateful to everyone who has been part of ensuring that this still feels like my family too.
On the sixth day of Christmas
I headed to Burton for my family's Christmas get together. It was the first time for a very long time, several years, we think, that all of my family (to clarify, I mean parents siblings and associated children, not extended family beyond that which is probably, realistically, never going to happen!) had been together in one place: although with my brother's wedding fast-approaching, it'll be happening twice in less than a month.
There was lots of food and lots of noise! We also played a couple of games, including a sports quiz (not my speciality!) in which I even managed to get more than one question right, much to my surprise! And even a family photo in which I think everyone is looking in the same direction and smiling.
Once I got back to Birmingham, a friend came round for the evening and in between plenty of good conversation, we watched Incendies which is an excellent film (though not an easy watch)
On the seventh day of Christmas
I went to Shrewsbury for the afternoon for a long overdue catch-up with a very good friend. Greeted by a beautiful rainbow from the train window as I arrived, it was grey and overcast but the rain mostly held off, meaning we could spend the best part of the afternoon wandering around chatting until dusk drew in and we stopped for a cup of tea and a crepe.
I was back early evening, in time to see in the new year with more good company, yet another good meal, a little bit of dancing, some very impressive and slightly mad fireworks and a glass of fizz.
On the eighth day of Christmas
For the first time during the Christmas season, and without looking back to be sure more than likely a while before that, today was the first day which I had entirely to myself. After a lie-in and lazy start to the day my house had the most thorough clean it has had for quite some time, which sounds rather dull but it was also quite satisfying.
I'm wary of new year's resolutions. I do understand that this, somewhat arbitrary moment of the passing of time is as good a time as any to reflect, to look back and look ahead, to set targets and dream dreams for the months ahead, but resolutions are too often, it seems to me, rooted in a sense of having to do or be more than we already are, that somehow the person we were last year isn't quite good enough for the one to come, and I'm not sure that's always helpful or healthy. With all of which proviso, my aspiration for the new year is to try and build a bit more creativity back into my life so, just in case it comes to fruition, watch this space for more poetry and paint.
On the ninth day of Christmas ...
Today was very definitely a work day: and not in the organise a fun party sort of sense. I didn't have a particularly early start but was at my computer and making a concerted effort on admin for the majority of the morning.
The weather was particularly unpleasant but I did have to brave the rain because I had arranged a meeting in the city centre. It was partly social, but it was also partly very much not as we looked through home office paperwork and I helped, as far as I could, look at next steps and offer what I could in the way of reassurance, love and support. These blurred edges and ill-defined boundaries are very much the reality of how I live my life. There are challenges to it, of course, but on balance I wouldn't have it any other way.
In the evening, after a week off last week, we restarted our regular bible discussion. It may still be Christmas, but the routines of normal life are gradually re-establishing themselves too.
On the tenth day of Christmas ...
Today was a mixture of intense but beautiful and, well just intense, frankly. I spent several hours at one of the hotels helping people in the morning, while trying to offer support via whatsapp message to a couple of other people in difficult situations, including trying to get my head round how and why a family with a young child had been made homeless and no-one seemed to be offering any helpful solutions.
In the afternoon we took just over 30 children and adults to the REP theatre. Getting everyone there had its challenges but we made it! Apparently, it is a spectacular show: in order that as many people as possible could benefit from the REP's generosity I didn't actually get to watch, but I did have a very welcome cup of tea and delicious lemon drizzle cake before accompanying people home again. The feedback was overwhelmingly positive so definitely well worth the effort!
My final task of the evening was to proof-read a UCAS personal statement. I have, in the past few years helped many children to find school places, but he and his sister were among the very first: they prompted the development of that part of my work at St Chad's Sanctuary, something I have subsequently taken into my role at Birch. Back then he was a shy and silent eleven year old with barely a word of English, and now he is preparing to head off to university: there is something really quite special about seeing people grow and flourish.
On the eleventh day of Christmas
It was the second of our Birch family activity days today and although it was still cold, we were much luckier with the weather than last week meaning we could take at least partial advantage of the incredible outdoor space at the venue even if it was rather muddy in parts (although I think for some of the kids that all added to the fun!)
The generous hospitality of the church community providing a full Christmas dinner for everyone, and being able to sit down and eat together was very special. The connection with them dates back to when I did a number of family trips from St Chad's Sanctuary to this same place several years back: and I had quite a lot of fun looking back at old photos and remembering some of those very joy-filled days.
There is lots we can't do or change or make better for these families but looking around the hall today and watching everyone having fun, smiling, laughing, chatting, creating, playing, enjoying ... I am reminded time and time again that this too matters and makes a difference.
On the twelfth day of Christmas
I was out of the house shortly after 8 this morning: my earliest start for a while. We had been offered a small number of tickets for a 10am showing of Little Red Riding Hood at the theatre: it felt like something of a minor miracle that I had made it to the hotel, gathered people up and we made it with time to spare. Days like yesterday with big crowds of people are a lot of fun: but sometimes it is nice to spend time with smaller groups too.
After spending a bit of time back at the hotel doing a few more admin bits with people, it was back to the city centre for the first Stories of Hope and Home session of the year. We had been offered some money for a Christmas treat for the group and the request that came back was to go ice-skating so that was this afternoon's adventure. Those of us out on the ice may not have been particularly highly-skilled at skating but we had a lot of fun ... and I think those watching probably had quite a lot of fun too! It was lovely to see people grow in both proficiency and confidence. Everyone went home happy (and in my case at least slightly achy!) It was an excellent way to arrive at twelfth night.
And that's not the end of it either.
Tomorrow, I will mark Epiphany and the wisemen will arrive at my nativity scene, and on Sunday we will be celebrating Orthodox / Eritrean Christmas.
I have recently adopted the tradition of leaving Christmas decorations up until Candlemas, because I think there is something to be said for sparkly lights through the dark days of January, but no-one needs a daily update on my life for that length of time so I'll call it a day here!
