Answers (8) - the return

Several years ago, our amazing Goddaughter Lydia gave us a jar of questions as a Christmas gift. For over a year, they generated lots of reflection and discussion, as we, and whoever happened to be living with or visiting us at the time thought about one each week or so and shared our answers. Over the course of many months, I shared my own answers here. 

For whatever variety of reasons, we fell out of the habit of answering them before the 'still to be answered' pot was empty. Both jars, the 'done' and the 'to do' have sat on a shelf ever since. I had always had the intention to return and reflect on the others and when I was recently looking for something to inspire me to get back into doing a bit more writing, I decided they might be a suitable prompt.

In the process, I found a post that had been in my drafts folder since early 2020 (back in those pre-pandemic days if you remember them!) with the last few answers I wrote at the time. Clearly, all the answers represent my reflections at a particular moment in time: for some, those answers would change little over time, others are more of the moment. Life has moved on since spring 2020, but before kicking off with new answers, I am going to publish them here as they were written at the time, unedited, but with annotations.

35) Is home a place or a feeling?

These questions were written long before first the play, and then an entire project, grew out of the question "what is home?"... I could probably write an entire essay in answer to this! 

But in short ... both, and neither and a multitude of other things besides. It is a feeling: but it is something more definite, more concrete than that too. It is affected by geographical location too, but not defined by it. People are a significant, perhaps the most significant, part of it too. 

After many, many more conversations and creative activities reflecting on this very theme, as well as two house moves in the intervening years, I still pretty much stand by what I wrote back then. There is something about a sense of belonging, something about a sense of the freedom and safety to be who I am, something about community and hospitality, something very nebulous as well as something solid and concrete. 

36) What is one food you couldn't live without?

At first I opted for cheese, because I do love cheese ... but then someone else said bread and that felt like a pretty good call too! 

In reality, what I would most want to 'not live without' is variety: taking out any individual food stuff would, I guess, be something I could adapt to far more easily than having to eat the same thing all the time. 

Hmmm, yes, this answer wouldn't have been much different if I was presented with the same question today either. 

37) Which has been the best phase of your life so far?

I think this one is turning out pretty well to be honest. There are plenty of challenges to life in Birmingham, and I'm not denying there have been a fair few struggles in the last six and a half years; but on balance, life feels like it is in a very good place. 

Someone else who was sat round the dinner table with us when we were discussing this one, said, this one is good, but I'm expecting the next one to be even better ... we vetoed phases that haven't yet happened as an acceptable answer, but actually, it is a pretty good way to live life! To live with the belief and hope that however good life is right now, there may be better things ahead.

I look back with great affection, for instance, on my time at university and other experiences I have had, but life has continued to grow in richness since. It doesn't take away from how amazing those experiences were to acknowledge that life is now richer and better. It saddens me when people say "school is the best days of your life" ... I mean, I get the encouragement to appreciate what you've got and to make the most of the opportunities, but I do feel very sad for those who, later in life, hanker after something they had then because they feel trapped in a less happy life now. 

I think I would still say "this one", or maybe more accurately would again say "this one" ... I think it would be fair to say there was a bit in the middle that wouldn't feature on my 'best phases of my life' list, but right now, life is once again, very good, and continues to be enriched by the people and experiences I am privileged to encounter. 

38) What is the most exciting thing that has happened to you in the last year?

For me, this was an easy one ... without a doubt, starting the Stories of Hope and Home project has been the most exciting part of my year, watching something that started as a vague idea take shape and grow has been amazing. I remain excited to see how it will develop further.

We are about to celebrate Stories of Hope and Home's fifth birthday so it was strange to look back at this answer when it was only just beginning and I had no real idea what it would become! four and a half years on from writing this, though, so much about this project continues to excite and energise me!

So the Q and A is back*, picking up where it left off at question 39 ... watch this space!

(*For how long I can't be sure. While my intention is to work through all the remaining questions over coming weeks, its not entirely unlikely I may not manage to stick at it, we shall see)

The value of a life

Just over a week ago, news broke of a luxury yacht sinking in the Mediterranean. One person was confirmed dead, six missing, all of whose bodies were later found after extensive complex searches.

For several days it dominated the headlines. One of the days, when I checked the front page of the BBC news webpage, it accounted for the top six stories.

No-one, including me, is denying the tragic loss of life and the devastating impact on the family and friends of those who died. 

And yet, and yet.

By the end of May, in the Mediterranean, 880 deaths of people seeking safety had been recorded this year (so far). That statistic is likely to be an underestimate and will have increased significantly since. Many are never found, most never identified. 

There are no painstaking searches for bodies, no endless analysis of what went wrong, no interviews with families and friends. There are, mostly, no headlines. 

There is no recognition that each of those 880+ people is an individual human being with their own character, their own hopes and dreams, their own communities who care about them, and their own stories cut tragically short.

I know people who have made that journey.

Clearly, the people I know are those that survived, although many witnessed en route that others did not.

They tell stories threaded through with darkness, suffering, loss and fear. But they also tell stories imbued with hope and resilience. They tell stories which are fully human.

They have arrived here carrying their gifts and skills, their different personalities, and their dreams of rebuilding a life and contributing to the societies they are learning to try and call home. They carry, in many cases, terrible trauma, but they carry too an irrespressible zest for life.

I believe our communities are immeasurably enriched by their presence, and that our world is the poorer for the loss of all those who didn't make it. 

I believe their lives were / are worth as much as that of a millionaire and his friends.

It's hard to explore these subjects without the risk of it being misinterpreted, but it feels important to try. To at least ask the question as to how we got to a place where some lives are considered to be worth so much more than others. 

And after that 'starter for ten', to dare to ask how we might at least move in the direction of understanding that "All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights" (Universal declaration of human rights, Article 1) and then begin to act accordingly.

https://www.statista.com/statistics/1082077/deaths-of-migrants-in-the-mediterranean-sea/