And then there was August (and September) part 2

As I said in this post, while there has been plenty that has left me feeling desolate in the last couple of months there has also been plenty that has filled my cup of consolation so following on from my previous post, in the name of balance, comes this one.

This post has in many ways proved as tricky to write as the previous one, but for entirely different reasons. As a result the title has progressively changed from 'some of' September, to 'most of', to all of it! The negative stuff felt hard to wrestle into words because it is so vast and complex. The positive stuff feels hard to communicate because it is exactly the opposite: much of it is to be found in the smallest, often seemingly insignificant moments. It is in fleeting conversations and shared cups of tea, in kind gestures from friends and strangers, in colouring pages and jigsaw puzzles, in blowing bubbles and in laughing together, in summer flowers and autumn leaves. There are, genuinely, so many things that have brought me joy in the past couple of months, things which are no less valuable for the fact that they are not firmly etched in my memory, things which are no less important for the fact they just wouldn't make sense to anyone if I tried to write them here. 

Over the summer I had two minibreaks, one to stay with my aunt and uncle in York, the second, a couple of weeks ago, with my mum and sister on the West Coast of Wales. Each was only a few days, each was a reminder that getting away, even briefly, is really valuable. I had life-affirming conversations with people I love and who love me, I read books and did jigsaw puzzles, I spent time outdoors in the sunshine, I ate good food. I have made no secret of my love of Birmingham and of the life I lead here, but that doesn't mean I don't recognise the importance of a change of scenery, a gentler pace of life, fresher air, a top up of vitamin D and a bit more green. And the sea, I may have chosen to live about as far away from it as is possible on a small island but I do very much love the sea. 

Crossing end of August into September, at the invitation of a friend, I joined an online art 'course', which I put in inverted commas because it doesn't feel like quite the right word for what it was: I think course invokes lessons and techniques whereas this was much more about approach and attitude. It encouraged me to get back in the habit of putting paint on paper, if not everyday as I did during it, at least a little more frequently than I had been for some time. Prompted by how much I enjoyed my (second) pottery taster session back at the beginning of the summer, I have also now signed up for a pottery course, starting this week, which I am very much looking forward to, having determined that committing to an evening a week of something creative and entirely different to my usual activities is a very good idea.  

Despite my garden having been somewhat neglected, and the distinct lack of rain, after a decent crop of strawberries earlier in the summer, my raspberries also bore fruit, literally. Outside my window, I watched and waited as the sunflowers I had planted grew and then bloomed: they are still going strong and bring a smile to my face every time I look at them. The sun has shone and I have had plentiful opportunities to be outside: to walk along canal tow paths, to visit parks, to sit in gardens... More recently, I have watched leaves start to change into the vibrant colours of autumn and have gathered smooth shiny conkers from the ground. 

I have made deliberate decisions, at least occasionally, to take time away from my computer. I have made conscious choices to reduce my news and social media consumption. I have watched films, read books, completed jigsaw puzzles and done colouring in. I have reinstated times of prayer and silence, albeit not entirely consistently. I have got to know some of my neighbours better and decorated the pavements with chalk drawings with the kids from my street. 

Having said all that, it is not, by any means, only my time off which has given me moments of joy, celebration and gratitude. I know I am incredibly privileged to love my work and, despite the best efforts of the home office and wider political shenanigans: that remains true. There have been plenty of positive moments in my work life too.

Over the summer, and beyond, I accompanied multiple groups of people on day trips where we spent time enjoying being together and enjoying being in different spaces. We manoeuvred buggies onto buses and made it all work somehow. We ate biscuits and blew bubbles. We played some very silly games. We explored significant attractions and hidden corners. We sat in the shade of the trees. We danced in a rainstorm and looked out for rainbows. 

There were parties, obviously. And birthday cakes. 

There was dancing and laughter to make my heart sing. 

I have celebrated people getting good news: being granted right to remain, starting school or college or entering employment, earning well deserved qualifications. One of the young people I helped to get into school in June of year 10 left school this summer with a full set of passes at GCSE, including English, a language she hardly spoke just over a year ago. I have watched people make big, life-changing steps forward, and tiny, almost imperceptible ones too. People whose smile seems a little brighter, whose ability to communicate feels a little more confident, who have found there way around a little more easily. I have had so many important conversations and been reminded time and time again that, in the midst of it all, being present and willing to listen really matters. 

I have heard and read positive feedback which, while it isn't my motivation, nonetheless helps me feel affirmed and encouraged. 

Early in September, together with a few of the Stories group, I went to the New Organising Conference, where my mind was stretched, in positive ways. Just when I needed it most, I stepped into a warm bubble of people who care about the world and want to do something about it. In the past couple of weeks, our programme of school visits has started up again and as ever is proving to be a source of great hope. 

And yes, sometimes, too, joy also means jobs ticket off and getting at least a bit more on top of paperwork and emails and databases and the like. 

Above all, at both work and play, I know I am incredibly privileged to be surrounded by an amazing community of colleagues, friends and family. It is hard to express, without straying into soppiness or cliches, the importance of the love and support that I have experienced in a myriad of ways: in brief messages and extended conversations, in quiet companionship and in crazy chaos, in shoulders to cry on and in laughing together, in hugs and in shared humanity. In drinking cups of tea, did I mention all the tea?  

My two previous posts make no secret of the fact that the last couple of months haven't been the easiest but I know to the core of my being that I am not going it alone and more than anything, that really matters. So thank you to everyone who is part of my story.