Journeying through June

My theoretical "I want to write stuff" and my practical "sit down, show up, write stuff" seem to be rarely in sync with each other. And while I could use the "just too busy" excuse, I don't actually believe that myself, so I'm not going to try and convince anyone else of it. 

I recently saw this quote by Octavia Butler: "First, forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable. Habit will sustain you whether you're inspired or not ... habit is persistence in practice." Somewhere inside me, I know this to be true. Waiting for the inspiration will not make the inspiration appear. Sitting down in front of an open notebook, pen in hand, scribbling nonsense, just might.

So I'm back, trying to form a habit.

During June I decided I would write, every day. I knew well enough that just saying that to myself wasn't going to be enough. How? When? About what? So I set myself a challenge ... each day I would go on a journey: not some dramatic adventure, just the everyday wanderings that are part of normal life. Every day I would write about that. Something, anything. Without thinking too much or trying too hard. Words on paper. 

I sort of managed it. If I'm honest I didn't write something every single day, but I did write something about every single day and that still feels like quite an achievement. 

Later, I went back through everything I had written. I highlighted the sentences or phrases that I liked or that captured my attention. I chose one for each day. I strung them together, edited the odd bit, added a few words here and there, played with the sequence. And lo, poetry (of a sort!) 

Journeying through June

This is the story I should be telling:

Baby steps still move us forward
But sometimes we should pause
Intentionally
To appreciate early morning hints of warmth.

For long enough to get our breath back.

Even when sheltering from the rainstorm,
When wondering why someone is watering the flowers with their hood up,
When it is a day for staying indoors, padding barefoot down corridors,

Even when between the brightening, there is the threat of rain

There are always
Enough blue skies and shades of green to lift my spirits and restore my energies
And then comes
One of those days where, as soon as you step outside,
Warm sun permeates the whole of your being

So on those days
When I run out of energy whenever I am faced with an incline
When faced with randomly frustrating anomalies
When the day involves a lot of time on buses

I remember
The places that will be forever associated with joy
And a goodly dose of relief
The special texture to the blues and golden yellows of the evening
Wending through woodland, dappled light breaking through canopies gathered above
The controlled wildness which suits my tastes
A family of goslings, a pair of fluffy ducklings,
Unequivocal highlights
Unexpected delights

But also
The mere minutes of the everyday,
The strikingly unremarkable and familiar,
Little gestures of community to treasure
All because I paused and responded to a stranger
A slightly wonky front gate, the turning of a key,
One, two, three … jump… one two three …
Breathing free

Those little things that make your eyes smile

Isn’t it ironic that it takes a bamboo puppet to rehumanise real people?
Isn’t it funny the ways memories are created and association forged?
Isn’t it amazing how the human brain works?

So I set off on a journey
Made of more than fifty per cent faffing
And seamless changes of direction, noticed by no one but me
Which in the end will,

More by luck than judgement,
Be timed to perfection

Guided by the promise of a party
And laden down with cake
I dance until the very end.

I wouldn’t want it any other way.