All the stuff. And all the other stuff.

It is hardly news to say that I have thrown myself whole heartedly into the good, the bad and the ugly of the migration sector and, specifically within it, the reality faced by those seeking sanctuary.

It is a reality which I will, fortunately, hopefully, never be able to fully understand, but I have walked alongside people enough to know it is a reality which is very, very hard and one which is constantly getting harder. On both a macro scale and a micro one, there is always, invariably, just one more thing. One more challenge, one more trauma, one more barrier placed in the way. 

In a different way to that which is the case for people living within the reality of its impact on their own lives, walking alongside people seeking sanctuary absorbs much of my time and energy. There are days that are full of joy and hope, and days which are much harder, but certainly my days are very full. All of this a choice I have made, and a choice I do not in anyway regret. It is challenging, frustrating and utterly heart-breaking. But it is also life-giving and utterly beautiful.  

Even within this narrow area of activity I am frequently aware of how much I still don't know or understand, and how much needs to be done that I am unable to do.

But this post isn't really about that stuff, its about all the other stuff.

It is about the fact that every time I look up and look around, I am constantly reminded that there are a million other issues too. And all too often, I am reminded that I am not doing anything about them at all. 

Some of them are issues I have engaged with more actively in the past. Others not so much. 

As a student, my first real awakening into social justice issues was through the trade justice movement, and I know unfair trade continues to destroy lives and livelihoods across the majority world. Trips abroad educated me further about global inequalities and their impacts. 

Later, I was involved in campaigning within the peace movement: against nuclear weapons and against the arms trade as a driver of conflict and destruction. Now a genocide is being committed in Palestine and other conflicts continue to proliferate, many of which aren't even considered newsworthy enough to make the headlines, despite the daily death tolls.

Living in Birmingham City Centre for several years I was daily confronted with the issue of the number of people experiencing homelessness. And the impacts of the housing crisis extend far beyond just those actually sleeping on the streets to all those living in precarious, temporary, exploitative accommodation. 

The area I now live in is best known as the home to Birmingham's prison: I am well aware that the justice system is deeply flawed and prison systems hideously broken.

Minority communities continue to face exclusion and abuse and if, in certain areas, there have been positive advances that do need to be recognised, many still experience daily micro-aggressions and others, such as the trans community, are watching hard-won rights being eroded and abuses increase. 

Birmingham City Council's declaration of bankruptcy has been followed by the announcement of devastating cuts to public services which will inevitably have the greatest impact on the poorest and most vulnerable residents. 

We are on a collision course towards catastrophic climate climate change and total environmental collapse which may well end civilisation as we currently know it and is already wreaking havoc in many parts of the world. . 

And that's just some of the ones that immediately spring to mind. There are many others.

I am not doing anything about any of these things. 

I know that they all matter. I am grateful to those for whom any of these, and other issues, are where they place their passion and energy.

A lot of the time, caught up in the things that fill my days, I admit to giving limited thought to how I could / should respond to or engage with all these other issues. When I do find myself thinking about it, mostly, I feel able to justify the value in what I am doing and make peace with the reality of all the stuff I can't do. I also understand that none of these issues stand in isolation and that often, our attitudes and actions in one area do, indirectly, impact on others. 

But of course it isn't always so simple. There is, at times, guilt, and self-doubt, and questioning whether I have my priorities right: whether there is more, or different, stuff I could or should be doing. There are not easy right and wrong answers to such questions. Saying this, or writing it down, isn't about beating myself up for the stuff I am not engaged with; on the contrary, being able to acknowledge what I am doing, and what I am not, what I can do, and what I can't, matters. Acknowledging and letting go feels far healthier than trying to pretend none of this stuff, or none of the internal questions about it, exist. 

Because that making peace isn't necessarily automatic. It doesn't just happen. It involves a certain amount of reflection and even, at times, conscious discipline. It continues to be something I wrestle with. I do not do it perfectly all of the time, but generally, I think I am doing it ok. 

This blogpost has been an unfinished draft for a very long time. It still feels fairly unfinished in some ways, but perhaps that's quite appropriate given the subject matter it is attempting to communicate.