Answers (9)

As promised, the Q and A returns. I said at the time (and since) that it was an amazing gift. Now, while I am quite enjoying the process of going back to the remaining questions, I am also able to acknowledge just how fitting a gift it was for the context at the time. Christmas 2018 was a point at which, as well as the four of us living in the flat, Carrs Lane Lived Community was a place where different people were constantly coming and going and which a number of others considered to be, in a certain way, 'home'. It had become, in expected and unexpected ways, a real community. These questions, dropped into that space, generated discussion, friendly disagreement, laughter and deep reflections. My own answers were without a doubt significantly enriched by reaching them through conversation with others.  

39) If you died tomorrow, would you go to heaven?

I firmly believe that, if heaven exists, whether as a place or as a state of being, then when I die, that yes I will go there. 

I say so with confidence, not because of what I believe about myself, but because of what I believe about God. I believe in a God whose love knows no bounds, whose generosity and capacity to forgive is without limit. 

The closest I have ever come to defining heaven and hell is that one is the fullness of God's presence, the other, the totality of God's absence. If God is able to love us unconditionally, I see no reason why any arbitrary dividing line, even one as significant as the line between life and death, would cut us off from that love. I am convinced that in death, as in life, God offers us love. Us being all of us, without exception. If we want heaven, God will not turn us away from it.

I believe in a heaven with an open door. And frankly, if God isn't like that, and heaven is just an exclusive club like the ones we ourselves create, then I'm not sure it's really the place for me.  

The corollary, of course, is that love cannot be forced, it must, by definition, only ever be offered. We must always be free to choose to reject it, to choose not to enter heaven. Maybe this is where my confidence in my answer falters, ever so slightly. Can I be certain what choice I would make? It is easy to say that of course we would choose unconditional love, but how often, as human's do we turn to fear and hate instead? But on balance, I like to think that I have experienced enough of the beauty of the love of God and the love of others, that I would walk through the open door.

40) If your life was a book / movie, what would the title be? 

This is one of the questions which I am fairly sure would have worked better discussed around a communal dinner table than it has being turned over in my head on my own, because I feel like in conversation there'd have been something someone else said that would have prompted a thought that would have crystalized into something vaguely fitting. The best I could come up with, then, based on something I say not infrequently about the way I choose to live my life is something along the lines of "Just about the right amount of bonkers" but I'm open to suggestions if anyone has a better title for my biopic! 

41) What makes you feel accomplished?

I could, possibly, write here about some of the things I think of as my more significant achievements ... but to be honest, in reality, when I actually feel accomplished usually revolves around getting jobs ticked off my jobs list that have been languishing there for a long time: invariable admin tasks and more often than not, ones which, once I set my mind to it and just get down to it, aren't huge tasks. Not that I ever learn, though, the sense of accomplishment when I actually submit my expenses doesn't mean I get down to them any more efficiently next time around! 

42) What are your top five favourite films?

Until fairly recently, while I consider myself well-read, the same was not true of my film viewing and my range of film choices was really very limited. Over the past year or so I have, with the encouragement of a good friend, significantly branched out in my viewing and we have watched some excellent films, many of which I have enjoyed or been challenged by, or have made me think, or all of the above. I confess that I also still often retreat to Disney Pixar animations or cheesy romcoms for relaxation and many of the films I have watched over and over again are definitely aimed at children or require a whole lot less brain power than some of the really powerful and meaningful films I have watched recently. I'm waffling, clearly, because I'm putting off actually compiling a list but, with the provisos that the question was favourites not best, and that this is what occurs to me today, but asked on any other given day I might come up with something different I am going with (in no specific order: Pride, Paddington, The Mission, Love Actually, and one of the Disney / Pixar collection although it would be hard to choose which one!

43) What is one thing you love about the world? 

Given the state of the world in which we live, it feels important to keep coming back to questions like this: to find ways to remind ourselves that despite everything, there are things to love and cherish about this world of ours. I think for me the key one is that, however dark things appear, if we are willing to open our eyes and look for it, there are always people doing good and bringing hope. Yes there is a lot of hate and fear, but there are also always, always acts of love.  

TBC...